Don't Leave Me When I Need You Most
by BellarkeShipsItself
Summary: Bellamy just brushed his hand with hers so that she knows she's not alone. He didn't expect her to take it and hold it for several moments before letting go leaving him cold , missing her warmth.
1. It's Time

Don't Leave Me When I Need You Most

Chapter 1

It's Time

He didn't understand how it happened. It was a normal morning. Everyone was working and the organization was getting better and better with each minute. Until they heard a loud noise. Something had just crashed. It wasn't in camp. But near. And he immediately knew. The first drop ship had landed.

'What happened' People started asking. They were confused too so some of them ran to hide. He couldn't blame them. He wanted to hide too. He wanted to just disappear from the eyes of the world. So the eyes of the chancellor wouldn't meet his in person.

He yelled at everyone to calm down and made a group of few people to go with him to see what exactly had happened. Just as they were about to go he heard Clarke's voice from behind.

'Wait, Bellamy!'She was walking towards him. He turned his face to her.

'_What_?' This came out wrong. Too harsh, too angrily. He mentally cursed himself for it. 'I..I mean what is it?'He asked again, this time his voice was definitely softer.

She looked taken aback. Not because of the harsh tone, but because he had decided to correct himself. _For her? _ She removed her eyes from him quickly and took a deep breath.

'I'm coming with you.'

'Are you sure?'He looked scared. Fragile. _He wasn't afraid they would still do something to him, was he?_

'Yes, I'm sure' She affirmed.

He had to be honest. He was relieved. Something in him wanted her to be next to him. Right beside him so she wouldn't let him crumble. She would never let him fall. And he was thankful for that. At least there was someone other than his sister that cared for him. And it wasn't just someone. It was her. Clarke Griffin. The Phoenix Princess. She was so much different from the other Phoenix teenagers. Or must he say, kids, because they certainly weren't on her level. She was 17 years old for god's sake. How could she be so independent?

By the time he was done thinking about her, they were there. In front of the drop ship. Its door wasn't down yet. So the only thing left to do was just wait. Wait for more of them to join them. For new meetings and new faces. And new enemies, supposedly.

Clarke was right beside him. She noticed his hands. He was having that nervous tic again where the fingers of one of his hands were moving without him realizing it. She had noticed that before. _During the torturing. When he was holding the belt. His hand would do the exact same thing everytime before he would hit the grounder. The same thing happened with the torturing instrument. _She knew his heart hurt for the grounder, just as much as hers did. _But he did what he had to do. And he did it because of her. Because she had asked him to. _And now he was carrying this burden. She just needed to show him that they shared it. That he wasn't alone.

That's when they heard the dropship's gate open.

'Oh my god...' Clarke gasped when she saw a familiar face. Her mother's.

Bellamy just brushed his hand with hers so that she knows she's not alone. He didn't expect her to take it and hold it for several moments before letting go leaving him cold , missing her warmth.

Jaha wasn't with Abby. It was a relief for Bellamy. Even though he had pardoned him, Bellamy still felt as if the chancellor had lied to him. He wouldn't agree to it that easily.

'Clarke..?'Abby's voice cracked. She wanted to come closer but it was obvious she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Bellamy knew about Clarke's problem with her mother. She had told him one day. He had caught her drawing a picture of her family.

_*Flashback*_

'_Wow...'He gasped clearly not able to say anything else._

'_Bellamy! Don't do this, you scared the shit out of me...' She whispered, trying not to wake everybody up._

'_Seriously , Princess, this is.. amazing.' He got closer to see the drawing better. She just gave him an odd look._

'_What, you like it?' She was surprised to see him interested in something so art-y and girly. No one had been that interested except for Octavia, who clearly was a girl._

'_It's incredible. Damn, how do you make it so real?'Bellamy kneeled down behind her, looking over her shoulder._

'_I learned to accept the drawings as real. As I will never be able to see my dad again.' She didn't turn around, she just stood still._

'_Your mom would be here soon, no?' He asked quietly._

'_Yeah, I know. The only problem is that I'm not ready for it.'_

'_Why?'_

'_You sound more interested than you should be. Why? ' She asked suspiciously._

'_Don't get all suspicious on me, Princess. I'm just killing time.' He defended himself._

_She let out a deep breath. 'You really want to know? Cause you'll find out the reason why I was locked up too. And the story is not very pretty... not a fairytale you think I was living in.'_

'_Who knows, maybe I'll stop calling you princess after it'._

_*End of Flashback*_

He knew everything. That night he had been her rock. She had broken in front of him. Just like he had done in front of her. They knew more about each other than their closest friends the were supposed to be enemies.

'It's time to forgive, Princess. She'll have to accept the fact that you'll never forget.'

'_Look, I shot the man, Clarke. He's not just gonna __**forgive**__ and__** forget**__ '_

'Remember it, because you'll need it too, Blake.' A voice came from behind Abby's back.

Jaha.

Bellamy's eyes widened at the sound of the chancellor's voice. He raised his head to see the man in front of them. This was going to be a hard, hard day.


	2. My Enemy, My Friend, My Almost Lover

**My enemy, My friend, My lover**

Song-Almost lover*Beckie Evans ft. Connor Maynard*

Jaha. He was there. Bellamy's whole body shuddered and Clarke could swear she saw his eyes wetting. He breathed slowly and put the mask back on. He wasn't sure how long it was going to last before it broke. This mask he was wearing was already too injured to take more hits. The chancellor started walking toward them slowly. His expression wasn't peaceful. It was an expression of someone who had been waiting a whole century for this final battle and now, nothing was going to stop them. That's when Clarke gently took Bellamy's hand and made two steps to stand in front of him.

'Chancellor, whatever you think you're doing, it's not going to happen. You made a promise. I heard it.' She stood firm not letting go of the man's hand behind her. She turned to look at him.

His face was like stone. He wouldn't show any of his emotions. Just the strong person he was. But he was pretending and she knew. She could see it. His eyes could tell her so many things that words weren't needed. Not between them.

She squeezed his hand and turned around.

'Clarke, this is not your business, okay?'

'No! No, this is my business, Jaha. You promised. You're not supposed to back on your words.'

'It's not that simple.' He said looking at the ground.

'We told you who wanted you dead. Bellamy did what he had to do to protect his sister. Something you and my mother weren't capable of doing for me and Wells.'

Jaha' s hands fell to his sides. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Clarke's mother stepped in then. She closed the distance between them and whispered something Clarke , Bellamy and the others couldn't hear.

'Jaha, we're not doing anything to the boy. Okay? It's not his fault that he's too dedicated. My daughter would never defend someone she if doesn't think they're worth it. Plus, she already told you that he's the leader here. He assures protection for all those children here. They listen to him. They respect him. Please , let's just try to work with him. I'll talk to Clarke later to ask her if we can have a decent conversation. Please, give him a chance, I know deep down you don't want to hurt him. He's only human. Everybody makes mistakes... Give him the opportunity to prove that he's a good person. Because I am willing to give it to him.'

'You are willing to give it to him , because of Clarke.'

'So, what? You can do it too. For Wells. He'll always be with you. And he will always accept your decisions, even though he won't be here to argue with you from time to time. Your boy was strong. And dedicated. He committed a crime for someone he cared for. Don't you see the similarities between them?'

Jaha wasn't sure what to think anymore. He was thankful for Abby's whisper speech. It was refreshing to be reminded that even though your child wasn't with you anymore, you're still together because they never leave your side.

'Okay.' He finally said noticing Clarke's shivering when she heard the sound of his voice again. 'I will make you an offer, Bellamy.' He shot a look at Bellamy, who locked his gaze with the chancellor's.

'What offer?' Bellamy's voice was cold. Protective.

'I am willing to try and work with you. As long as you tell me what happened to my son.'

Wait, did he think Bellamy had killed Wells?

'If you think I killed him, I didn't even touch the guy.'

'I'm not saying you did it. I want to know what happened and you and Clarke are going to tell me exactly what happened. I need to know.'

Bellamy and Clarke locked gazes and she nodded slowly. Then turned to look at Jaha.

'Okay. Is that all you want?'

'Yes, for now.'

With that , he gave signal to the others from the drop ship to come out.

Bellamy watched as a group of guards exited first followed by a group of healers, and more people. The last people that he saw exiting the drop ship were people from Walden and Arcadia. He judged by the way they were dressed. Most of 'the 100' were dressed the same way. Clarke and Wells were the only ones from Phoenix, the rich section of the Ark. And obviously there weren't more from Phoenix for now, among the young ones.

He didn't let go of Clarke's hand immediately. She noticed it , but she had to be honest with herself. She wasn't ready to let him go. So when everyone was out of the drop ship she dragged him away from the crowd and made him follow her in the thick of the woods.

'Clarke, what's going on?'He asked definitely surprised by her reaction.

'I just wanted to get away. Felt claustrophobic, you know?'

'Already? You better brace yourself, princess, because many more are coming.' He smiled sweetly. Almost compassionate.

Clarke didn't say anything in return. She just kept looking away from him.

'What's going on ,Clarke?'His voice was trying to assure her that he was fine. Because he was, right? Then why was she feeling as if she was about to die any second now?

'Clarke?'He slowly approached her ,putting his hands on her shoulders gently. 'Is there something you want to tell me?'

'I'm sorry..'

Why?

'For what?'He asked.

'It's my fault. He promised. I thought..He would..he's not ..mustn't.'

Bellamy wasn't sure what to do. She was suffering. Her voice was trembling and looked as if she was about to have a nervous breakdown. His heart started to ache the moment heard her start sobbing.

'I promise you, he won't dare to do anything. If he does, I'll..'She stopped talking when she felt two big hands wrap around her. He squeezed her softly, letting her know he's okay. After a few seconds of staying in complete silence he turned her so that they were face to face.

'I know you'll save me, princess.' He whispered in her ear softly. 'You're already doing it.'

He buried his head in the crook of her neck, slowly exhaling. She felt shivers run through her. 'Bellamy' She gasped silently, pressing one hand to his cheek. 'Yeah?'His voice was raspy and sent vibrations all over her body.

'I should..we should get back. This isn't normal.'

'What isn't normal? That we're not fighting?..Or the fact that you obviously feel something similar to what I'm feeling and you don't want to admit it.' His hand found its place on the back of her neck pulling her closer so their foreheads were touching. 'I am here, Clarke. And I'm here to stay.' His lips kissed her forehead tenderly. Her eyes didn't open even for a second. She was afraid the tears she was holding were going to fall down. 'Open your eyes and look at me. Now, princess...'It was an order. But it didn't sound like one. It sounded like a plea.

She carefully opened them but it was too late. The tears had found a way to run away from their cell.

'I'm not ready to accept it , Bellamy. Any of this. Not yet.' She said trying to steady her voice but no luck.

He just smiled and brushed the drops of water from her cheeks. 'Whenever you're ready, princess. I'm waiting.'

She knew it was wrong. Especially now. When her mother was here, and the chancellor. And if one of them was against it...She knew Jaha was going to try to do something. And she wasn't going to let him hurt another person she cared about. She buried her hands in Bellamy's hair and with trembling lips she kissed him , causing him to forget where they were, what they were supposed to be, and what they weren't supposed to be.

_Enemies, Not Friends, Not almost lovers. It will be harder. But with almost lovers it's always harder._


	3. Can I Be Your Everything?

Chapter 3

**Can I Be Your Everything?**

The air felt thicker the next day. It was raining and everyone was working hard to get every tent inside. Clarke's mother and everybody from the second drop ship stayed there because there was no place for all of them in camp. Plus, some of the 100 started to fight with the others and a few minor wars were created. So Bellamy decided that the two groups would stay separated for a while. Of course, there were some parents that craved to see their children and were let in. But no more people. He was being cautious. And no one could blame him. Jaha had been giving him glares whole day. And it wasn't helping him concentrate on the important things. Clarke noticed that. She was sure the chancellor was planning something. But one thing she couldn't believe was that she had been lied to. Not by someone else, but by the chancellor. The man who was supposed to be one of them. He was behaving for now. Trying to talk to her and help her with this and that. She wasn't paying him any attention if she had to be honest. It was bad enough that the weather wasn't cooperating, she didn't need a forty-something year old man to follow her everywhere. She felt constantly watched. Inspected. And judged.

'You should put it right here so no one get hurt, Clarke.' He said for millionth time today.

She sighed slowly and turned around to face him. 'Look, I know what you're doing. My mother wants you to watch over me because I wouldn't talk to her. Unfortunately for you, this isn't the Ark. You don't have the right to bark orders around here. _We_ here, don't follow _you_.' She looked him straight in the eye. 'We have our own leader. And even he doesn't tell me what to do. Because he knows how I work. No orders for me. Got it, sir?'

Jaha was certainly taken aback by her words. But he understood every word she said. It was written on her face. She had the same fierce look as her mother. He couldn't fight that look. He wouldn't be capable of taking all the shit she was going to throw at him if he continued arguing with her. She was going to win anyway, so he smiled and waved. Then turned around and walked away from her. She felt as if something really heavy had just fallen from her chest. And that feeling was pretty amazing.

The night had come so fast that he didn't even notice when Octavia had wished him goodnight and went to bed. In fact, almost every single soul was asleep already. But that strange feeling in his chest wouldn't stop bugging him. Ever since that moment with Clarke, shared in the woods, he was unable to think straight, because every though was connected to Clarke. And the part he found most annoying was that he wasn't even feeling annoyed. He liked thinking about her. Those thoughts were like a good sleeping pill. They relaxed him, made him feel safe, helped him escape from everything. And at the same time, made him feel stronger, as if he could move mountains. He needed to see her. Thinking about her wasn't enough anymore. He wanted more. Even though it was wrong, it just felt so right.

Clarke was feeling like a walking zombie. She was exhausted. Today was a day full of sick people. The rain hadn't stopped so everyone was in the drop ship sniffing like crazy. The ill ones were on the first floor while everyone else was on the second and the third floor.

She just needed to get a few more things done and she was going to finally rest her head for a while.

'Clarke?'She heard a voice from behind. At first she thought it was Finn and was about to start nagging him about getting up from bed, but then she turned around and saw him. Bellamy. She hadn't seen him all day. She hadn't realized she'd missed him a bit.

'Hey' She greeted with a soft smile. It wasn't normal for the butterflies in her stomach to react just by a simple greeting. Right?

'Don't you think it's time for bed?' _Idiot._

Clarke tipped her head to one side looking at him ridiculously.

'That came out wrong, you know what I meant.' He let out a soft laugh before looking at the ground. He was tired too. His eyes were ready to surrender. Ready to sink in hers and never come out again.

'Yes, I know. I was just about to go to the drop ship. What about you?'She asked curiously, letting her eyes fall to Bellamy's lips for a few moments.

'I don't think sleep is an option for me, Princess.' His smile disappeared slowly. 'Need to watch things 'round here.'

'Bellamy, come on..'She pleaded. 'Nothing's going to happen. Just get some sleep. You look awful.'

'Jeez, thanks, way to make me feel better.'

'I'm serious. You know the more you keep exhausting yourself, the more vulnerable you will get. I don't want that. We have only you. And we are not giving Jaha the satisfaction of becoming the boss here.' She stopped talking, and for a second there she considered taking his hand and leading him to a place where no one could find them. Somewhere he would just be himself. Without the need to be strong all the time. He was just a human after all.

While she was dreaming she felt him move closer and closer. He was right behind her. Again. Just like in the woods.

'Have I ever told you some of my secrets?'He whispered in her ear. It wasn't anything special. His voice was casual, almost playful. Yet, she felt the butterfly hurricane take over her again.

'No, why?' _Okay, keep holding on, don't give in._

'Cause I just felt the urge to spill one.' His hands found her waist, gently wrapping themselves around it.

Clarke wanted to gasp but nothing came out.

'You know..you, damn girl, are my biggest distraction' He found the weakest spot on her neck before pressing a slow kiss on it. 'And this, whatever the hell it is... I'm not missing it for the world.'

Her mouth opened and the gasp that was waiting to come out, finally won. She gave into his touch and leaned back to rest the back of her head on his shoulder. 'Bellamy..' His name escaped her lips in a low whisper. 'There is nothing..we' She wasn't making sense at all, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to just give up so easily. He slid his hand down her thighs slowly and placed the other one on her stomach.

'Not here. Stop it...'She murmured softly after turning to face him. Her hands cupped his cheeks. He pressed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose before taking her hand and making his way out of the med tent.

'Of course not here. Do you honestly think I'm that dumb..'It wasn't a question. He had planned this all along. He had known it would lead to this, but she honestly didn't care at that moment. She was feeling dizzy, tired and the only thing she wanted was someone to take care of her for once. She was going to be taken good care of. How exactly, she wasn't sure. But as long as he was there, she was going to be fine. As long as he held her hand ,she wouldn't fall again.

'Where are we?' She asked surprised.

It was a house. A real house! She couldn't believe her eyes.

'Wait! When did you find this? How, I mean..'She was surprised indeed. 'Relax, Princess, It's not habitable.'

'Isn't it ruined?'She gave him a strange look. 'Stop interrogating me, it's not turning me on at all. Just get inside.' He joked, laughing softly after he saw the big smile on her face.

What had he done to this thing? It was amazing. There were candles everywhere, and...an actual bed? For real?

Clarke couldn't contain her smile. Her eyes were on every object in the room. She finally rested her head on the bed. God, it was so comfortable. 'God, this is amazing..'

'Done with the questions?' He sat on the bed looking down at her.

She turned her head to him reaching for his hand. He took it. 'Done' She answered.

His body moved and in seconds he was on top of her. He wasn't persistent. There was no rush this time. It was so different from the time with Finn. He was different. He was gentler and she could feel what he was feeling in the moment. He was showing his true self and Clarke was more than happy to find out more about him.

He moved one of his hands to her back, pulling her closer, bringing his lips to hers. His tongue traced them asking for permission. Bellamy slowly pulled her shirt over her head, as she did the same with his. He was everywhere, leaving every spot on her body burning under his touch. Clarke wrapped her hands around his neck as he pulled her legs around his waist. The kiss wasn't forceful, that is what she loved about it. Her mind was pacing, not being able to stop and think for a second. Everything that was happening was so surreal, this place, him, there with her. When had they become a thing? They hadn't even done or said anything other than behaving and being supportive of each other through the rough times. Not because they felt the need to do it. But because it was their obligation. They had to keep the camp safe. It was an obligation.

_Then why did that obligation feel so good?_

When the need for oxygen kicked in, they broke the kiss. She stared at him confused. 'Tell me something..How did we manage to get so far?' He caressed the side of her cheek gently laying beside her, part of him still on top of her. 'You're asking the wrong person, cause I have no idea what this is.' He kept caressing her as she leaned into his touch closing her eyes.

'I'm not sure about this yet, Bellamy..it's not that I don't want it..'She started blabbering before he pressed a light kiss on her lips making her lean into it. He pulled away seconds later, looking at her with a serious face.

'You're not obliged to do anything you're not ready for, Clarke. And I'm hardly the one to judge you. I told you a few weeks ago when you thought your mom had died, that you will never be alone. As long as I am here. As long as I can freaking take care you, I will. You..were there when I needed someone so strong. I'm not leaving you now.' He rubbed a hand over her lower belly. 'You are cruel little stubborn minx..But you're my princess as well. And I figure it sounded cheesy by the amuse look on your face, but..it's the truth.'

Clarke was smiling now. She felt light as a feather. This couldn't have been perfect. The whole situation. She wasn't uncomfortable with him anymore. The only thing she wanted was to be as close to him as she could.

She snuggled in his chest wrapping her hand around him.

'We'll find time for everything. For now, just help me forget about the fatigue.'

'Since you're asking me so kindly..'He laughed softly wrapping a hand around her small giggled in his chest.

They didn't move an inch away from the other that night.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

_But it didn't matter if the nights all were theirs._


End file.
